Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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