is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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