u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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