You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize