Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
