I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
