you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize