yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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