question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
