Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
