so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
