The maid of honor just puked.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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