I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
