I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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