let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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