at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The power of my boobs compel you
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
