That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
