lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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