if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
