You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
