I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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