so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
