its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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