Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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