Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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