you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
