I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
