Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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