Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
