Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
