dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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