okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Bring me that man meat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
