I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
