I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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