he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
