all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
