I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
