what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
