your thong is hanging out like whoa
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
