the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
