party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
