he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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