Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
