Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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