is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
