why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
