god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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