My first STD was from a foam party
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
