My first STD was from a foam party
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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