Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
