i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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