So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
