i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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