I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize