omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize