I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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